I should be so lucky - the wedding

Its nearly
noon and I am eating cornflakes and mango which is my usual breakfast. I can hear the sound of the band dance troupe
they are very good the dance girls are all very pretty.

But it’s
hot out there.

The wedding
ceremony took for ever as the elder chanted and they tied us all together with
the white cord I call magic string.  I
had to hold my hands steepled in the wai position which meant that I had to
kneel on the hard tiled floor. If I sat
with my legs crooked on one side I my body and supported myself with one hand I
couldn’t do a wai. I could manage
without supporting myself for a short time but then it either became very
painful or I fell over sideways. So most
of the time I had to kneel and  it was
very uncomfortable. I tried to meditate
empty my mind and then focus on the pain until it goes away. This sort of worked.

My darling
Waree was beside me but they made her up so hard in a formal Thai style that I
didn’t think she looked like Waree. She
looked beautiful but artificial. You can
judge for yourself. Comments most welcome

After the
ceremony everybody tied magic string around my wrist or Waree together. I love this tradition it’s very beautiful. And they gave me money which I liked
too. When somebody is tying string you
hold one hand up in a sort of half wai and the other hand horizontal palm up so
that the wrist can be tied. The person
doing the tying gives a blessing (which of course I cannot understand) and then
rubs the knot in a circular movement as though they are welding it
together. Other people link to the
process by putting their hand palm up under the arm being tied in a supporting
position.

As she tied
the string Waree’ sister Jit was very generous giving us 1,000 baht which was
more than anybody else. She said and
gesticulated a blessing that we should not fight during our marriage and added
“give me the money back afterwards”.

Which I
thought was lovely sentiment and definitely sincere.

The band
and singers were very good and the dancing girls pretty I don’t know how they
can dance all day in the heat and humidity without any sign of sweat. I danced quite a bit but it was so hot and
humid that sweat was running me in great rivulets so I had to give up. Eventually the alcohol and the heat got the
better of me and I had a sleep in our air conditioned studio,

Later the
band packed up and left in a pickup converted for passengers (they would call a
jeepney in the Phillipines) leaving the
crew to dismantle the stage. All very
efficient. The ladies cleared up the
mess while all the men, like me having consumed some quantity of alcohol lay
around on the cool tiled floors sleeping it off.

Most of
this post will be wedding photos.

From left to right Nan, Huan, me and Au some of my best lady friends.  Au speaks some English so she advised me throught the earlier part of the wedding when I was not able to ask Waree to translate for me. 

You can see why I was happy to have Au as my guide and translator

Careful records are made of all who attend and how much they give

The procession from a neighbours house back to Waree's house with the groom and most importantly the money

Bang washing my feet before I am allowed to enter.  A task for which I have to pay her 100 baht (about $3)

Two ladies bar my entrance to the house so I have to pay them 100 baht each to let me in.  There seems to be a consistent theme to Thailand I am not sure what it is

Unexpectedly more ladies barred my entrance.  Waree had not supplied me with envelopes to pay them but fortunately I stuffed some notes in my pocket before I left so I was able to get into the house.

Waree looking beautiful before making her entrance

Counting the loot

Lighting candles

Lots of kneeling an waing

Everybody tied up

Hands supporting arms as magic strings are tied

Something old, something new, something borrowed but nothing blue that I can think of

Adam wasn't sure what to make of it all

The bride's mother has to supply new sheets for the bridal bed and these are they with the bride and groom sitting on top of them.

A handsome couple

The wedding - early morning

Its 5.30 am
on the day of the wedding.  When we went
to bed last night at 11pm there were still 50 or so people outside involved in
preparations.  I thought it would quieten
down but all night long I could here continuous laughter and chopping of meat. 

Waree got
up at 4 am and by 5am I got up too as there seemed to be little point in trying
to sleep.  Outside was alive with people
working. The road has been blocked by the
scaffolding of an enormous stage they are building.

The ladies
are still laughing and chatting as they worked all night.  The main culprit is Hoo one of my favourites (who
lives opposite and I think is very pretty) together with Gek.  I told the ladies with sign language that they
had kept me awake all night with their chatter and laughter, which they though
was hilarious.

Waree told
me that they mix the ki (shit) of the buffalo with the meat as it is bitter and
presumably adds flavour.  I think its
actually the stomach contents and I photographed some green stuff they were
adding to the meat which they agreed was ki.  My vocabulary in Lao is not good enough to
distinguish between the contents of different parts of the buffalo’s digestive
tract. 

Then Hoo
showed me some white material (possibly tripe?) which Waree told me Hoo said
was (I will use the softer American term) “pussy” but Waree added that Hoo was “gohok” which
means “Lying” .  I took a photo of it and
one of the other ladies suggested something in Lao pointing to Hoo which I took
to mean that I should also photo that part of Hoo’s anatomy.  Everybody thought that this was very funny,
but I am not sure whether I got the joke right.  Anyway I took a photo of Hoo.

I am
drinking fresh coffee now in my studio.  There doesn’t seem to be a lot for me to do. I have been married enough times to know that
the groom’s roll is minimal.  He just
acts as a foil to the lovely bride and in this case pays for everything.

I will keep
taking photos until the photographer arrives at 7am and takes over my camera.  He is a professional and it will be
interesting to see if he is mastered my camera from the short lesson I gave him
the other day. 

Hoo preparing food

Contents of buffalo digestive system used with meat

Ladies cutting up meat all night long

Tau cutting up buffalo skin all night long

Dish of raw meat and ki

Hoo told me that this was Buffalo 'pussy'

Construction of the stage before dawn

 

The wedding - fresh killed buffalo liver eaten warm

Waree

It’s
Thursday evening 10.00pm and a large truck has turned up outside with 9 men on
board. They brought some vegetables and
some of the ladies are preparing a meal for them. They will erect the stage in the morning for
music and dancing all day. I asked
where they will sleep and was told that they had enough Thai whisky to sleep
anywhere.

Toilet
facilities are a bit of a concern (to me, nobody else would worry) the output
from the toilet goes into an underground earthenware container with an overflow
into the ground (I think). A few days
ago Tau told me that it was full and somebody was supposed to come today to
pump it out but never turned up. Too
late now but I don’t know how it will cope with several hundred people.

The band
and dancers and singers etc for tomorrow cost me 16,000 baht which is about
$550 amazingly cheap.

We now have
a small marquee outside the house and tarpaulins everywhere to keep the sun
out. There are mountains of vegetables
and beer, soft drinks etc. We have
chairs from the temple and trestle tables set up and of course balloons. The outside kitchen area has been extended
and cordoned off with mats. There are
several charcoal burners, sacks of charcoal and big cooking pots all waiting
for tomorrow.

Earlier
there was the sound of howling dogs and Waree told me that her father, brother
and friends had gone to kill the buffalo (that would have been at about 8pm). She
said that the dogs howl due to the number of people leaving the village for the
farm for the kill and because they know why they are going. They hit the buffalo on the head with
something and cut its throat. They save
the blood for eating.

Since I won’t
be able to see Waree in the morning our friend Au who speaks some English is
going to look after me. It’s really
difficult as nobody speaks English and I haven’t got a clue what to do most of
the time. Ah well we will find out
tomorrow.

The truck
with the men on board who have been killing the buffalo just arrived back
followed by Joi’s 4 wheel mini tractor towing a trailer with the carcass. Its 11 pm and there must be 50 people outside
the house milling around while the meat is brought in.

Waree has
just told me some of the people come to eat fresh meat especially the liver
which they eat raw with chili while it is still warm.

Bringing in the meat -  the men wear the head torches that they use frog catching and fishing at night

Fresh water buffalo meat

Rats, insects and aerobics but first catch your cicada

This
afternoon we went to Rat’s farm to catch some food which Waree called eeh-ehh
or something like that. When we arrived
at the farm we went into the thatched building on stilts that all the farms
have, which is the farm house. Rat’s
father-in-law was there which was of interest to me as he will be marrying us
on Friday. He is a lovely old man and I
have seen him conduct other ceremonies. Weddings seem to be performed by any village elder.

Lunch Issan style

I found out
today that after having my feet washed at the entrance to Waree’s house I have
to pay the washer and then some ladies will try to prevent me entering. I said OK if they won’t let me in I will take
the truck to Phompisai and have a couple of beers in that restaurant on the
banks of the Mekong, but apparently this is not serious and they really will
let me in but I have to pay them as well.

I expect it
will be chaotic and everybody will have a good laugh at my expense. These are such good natured people that
nothing would worry them unduly.

They were
eating. Rural Thai people are always
eating. As always they invited me to
join them. I wasn’t really hungry but as
they were eating rat which I have never tasted before I nibbled on a leg of
rat. I it was very tasty.

Delicious charcoal grilled rat

I think
it’s a rice field rat which is different from the rat infested sewers of London rats. Anyway it was well cooked and tasted good.

Then we
collected these long thing bamboo poles about 4 metres long with another thin
bit of bamboo stuck in the end. We then
smeared the end bit with glue and went into the woods.

 

Putting glue on the sticks - the balaclavas are normal when people work in the fields as are thick clothing.  They are designed to keep the heat out and to stop your skin darkening, as all Thai people whant to be white!  I have tried wearing them and contrary to what you might think its not hot at all

The noise
was deafening the sound of cicadas and they were our prey. I had great difficulty in seeing them and
even more difficulty in getting them to stick to the end of my pole. You have to sort of sneak up under them and
just at you tap them they fly off and if you are lucky get their wings stuck to
the pole. I was very unlucky but
everybody else got lots.

 

Waree catching a cicada

When you
unstick them you rip the poor little bugger’s wings off and stick them in a
bottle. It was very hot and humid so I
ended up sitting under a tree and taking photos.

 

Stuck!

Having one's wings pulled off

I couldn't see them

Jit (Waree's sister) the bandit

Waree the fearless hunter

Back at the farm

On the way
back we drove along the lake Nong Kai which Rat’s farm
fronts on to. As we drove in we had seen
people with larger and heavier bamboo poles with cotton bags on the end. These were for collecting green tree ant eggs
which are a great delicacy at this time of the year.

However
this time we saw a guy with a catapult (commonly used and for sale in many
shops – I use one to scare the chooks away from the verandah). I couldn’t work out what he would be trying
to catch in the lake with a catapult, and then Waree pointed out the Water
Buffalo way over on a stretch of weed in the middle of the lake and said he was
a cow herdsman. This is amazing to me. He could actually control the bests who where
about 100 metres away in inaccessible swampy water with a catapult. I have watched them send the creatures
running with a ping from a stone in the past but never over such a distance.

 

Water Buffalo herdsman

When we got
back we had a good fry up and everybody munched into cicadas. Some preferred them raw. I tried one but like most insects it was
similar to eating a prawn with its shell on except that the body had little
taste just a sort of creamy sensation. Perhaps a little brothy like that 5 taste that the Japanese discovered.

 

Counting the catch

You eat the cicadas with leaves and other very very hot dishes often made from chopped up raw pork or beef

Huan enjoys a fresh cicada

Later I
joined the ladies in their aerobics in a nearby street. Thai men don’t do
aerobics of course but the session is led by a Lady Boy but I suppose he
doesn’t count as a man any more than Farangs do. 30 or so nubile (most) ladies all jumping
around in the heat and humidity, quite pleasant really.

 

I have been doing this the last couple of nights and it goes
on for about an hour interrupted only by the water buffaloes making their way
home up the street where we exercise.  I can almost keep up with
everything but some of the jumping and skipping things tire me out too
much.  A few years ago I could have kept it up all night.

Right now I am in my air conditioned studio but sweat is still dripping off me
on the floor.  I will have a shower once my system has cooled down.

Back in the Land of Smilea and preparing for a wedding

I start my
blog again back in Thailand.

In Ban pho, where we are preparing for our
wedding next week. My blog has lapsed so
much that I guess nobody will read it but it will keep a record for my very old
age.

Starting in
the middle.

Tonight
Waree and I had a discussion about money with respect to the bride price and
wedding which will be next Friday the 24^th of March. This is a village wedding not an Ampur
(government) wedding so it has no legal significance outside of this
society. Within the society it is a
formal and meaningful celebration of matrimony between the farang Jeremy and
the Issan girl Waree.

Unfortunately
(for me) this society values girls far more than boys. The former are industrious and manage the
family, the latter are lazy wastrels frequently inebriated (I wonder if that is
why I fit so well into this culture). Consequently instead of receiving 40 pigs for marrying Waree I actually
have to pay for the privilege.

The amount
was negotiated some time ago and apart being MONEY there is a lot of face
involved. As I am a farang I am of
course fabulously wealthy and if I skimped on the bride price it would mean
that I value Waree little. A convenient
arrangement isn’t it, but genuine I think.

The money
is publicly counted and put on a money tree for the groom to take on his walk
to the bride’s house. When I say
publicly I mean that they use a microphone and loudspeakers to announce each
note as it is added to the tree and maintain a running total. A bit like those TV charity fund raising
shows.

In this
case the charity is Waree’s mum and dad and the good news is that they pay for
the wedding. The rest of the money will
largely go to paying off their huge debts. I am digressing somewhat but one of the reasons that the Prime Minister
Mr. Thaksin is so popular in the rural areas is that he introduced a scheme of
rural loans meant to improve the farmers lot by investment in machinery
etc. In reality it disappears on who
knows what but probably gambling, drink and dodgy get rich schemes. The Government boasts that these loans are
effective as 95% of loans are paid off but the reality is that each year they
pay off one loan with the money from a replacement loan. They simply turn it over. So mum and dad have significant debts.

This society
has wonderful community support mechanisms. Hopefully there will be photos of all this later but on the day of the
wedding many ladies will come and prepare food. Those invited to the wedding (about 250 to 300 now I think) come and
take food away with them. It’s all
carefully calculated down to the cost of a slice of beef. They may stay and eat the food which can be a
problem because if they do they will (if they are male and some females) have
to be supplied with copious quantities of alcohol.

So the
wedding will supply food to families throughout the village. There is however an upside in that each
attendee will bring money to give to the happy couple (I am not sure if we get
it or mum and dad) and the deal is that they must bring more money than Waree’s
family gave at the weddings of their families. It seems incredibly complicated but everything is recorded, so they
probably know how much they have to bring.

Not only
will the wedding provide food but its cost will be defrayed across the village and
surrounding hamlets. Neat social
security scheme huh?

Waree and I
were discussing the bride price and realizing that I had to transfer the money
from my bank in Australia

and that there was a risk that it might not arrive in time. That would be a total disaster as the wedding
would have to be cancelled. No money –
no wedding. So we decided to play it
safe and that I would travel to Phompisai (the nearest town) each day and
withdraw the money from an ATM in dribs and drabs. Slow but safe, I hope (there is always a risk
that the pattern of transactions will lead my bank to believe that the card has
been stolen and suspend it).

It was late
afternoon but I decided to drive to Phompisai to get the first withdrawal at
once. Waree wanted her brother Tau to go
with me and said he could drop off some of his wedding invitations of the
way.  Tau had a couple of cold cans of beer with him
and of course I had to buy him more in Phompisai so I ended up drinking 3 cans
as we drove through a myriad of dusty tracks to visit houses in villages
scattered around the area.

It was hot
and people were often sitting outside their houses on the bamboo platforms they
have. They sit in groups and eat or just
talk and relax. Some invited me to “gin
kau” “eat food” with them.

Earlier in
the day we went to another nearby town to see a photographer who we have
arranged to take wedding photos with my Canon EOS 20D SLR digital camera. As always Waree insisted that as he is a Thai
photographer he would already know how to use any camera and as always I knew
that he wouldn’t know how to use it.

I have met
him before and he appears to be an experienced photographer who understands
photography but as I pointed out to Waree, I have been doing photography for over 50 years, I was doing developing and
printing under the bed when I was 12 and it still took me several months to
work our how to use this camera. Maybe I
am just thick.

He didn’t
do too badly, although he wouldn’t have been able to use it without the
training.  I just hope that he doesn’t
screw it up on the day.