Back in the Land of Smilea and preparing for a wedding

I start my
blog again back in Thailand.

In Ban pho, where we are preparing for our
wedding next week. My blog has lapsed so
much that I guess nobody will read it but it will keep a record for my very old
age.

Starting in
the middle.

Tonight
Waree and I had a discussion about money with respect to the bride price and
wedding which will be next Friday the 24^th of March. This is a village wedding not an Ampur
(government) wedding so it has no legal significance outside of this
society. Within the society it is a
formal and meaningful celebration of matrimony between the farang Jeremy and
the Issan girl Waree.

Unfortunately
(for me) this society values girls far more than boys. The former are industrious and manage the
family, the latter are lazy wastrels frequently inebriated (I wonder if that is
why I fit so well into this culture). Consequently instead of receiving 40 pigs for marrying Waree I actually
have to pay for the privilege.

The amount
was negotiated some time ago and apart being MONEY there is a lot of face
involved. As I am a farang I am of
course fabulously wealthy and if I skimped on the bride price it would mean
that I value Waree little. A convenient
arrangement isn’t it, but genuine I think.

The money
is publicly counted and put on a money tree for the groom to take on his walk
to the bride’s house. When I say
publicly I mean that they use a microphone and loudspeakers to announce each
note as it is added to the tree and maintain a running total. A bit like those TV charity fund raising
shows.

In this
case the charity is Waree’s mum and dad and the good news is that they pay for
the wedding. The rest of the money will
largely go to paying off their huge debts. I am digressing somewhat but one of the reasons that the Prime Minister
Mr. Thaksin is so popular in the rural areas is that he introduced a scheme of
rural loans meant to improve the farmers lot by investment in machinery
etc. In reality it disappears on who
knows what but probably gambling, drink and dodgy get rich schemes. The Government boasts that these loans are
effective as 95% of loans are paid off but the reality is that each year they
pay off one loan with the money from a replacement loan. They simply turn it over. So mum and dad have significant debts.

This society
has wonderful community support mechanisms. Hopefully there will be photos of all this later but on the day of the
wedding many ladies will come and prepare food. Those invited to the wedding (about 250 to 300 now I think) come and
take food away with them. It’s all
carefully calculated down to the cost of a slice of beef. They may stay and eat the food which can be a
problem because if they do they will (if they are male and some females) have
to be supplied with copious quantities of alcohol.

So the
wedding will supply food to families throughout the village. There is however an upside in that each
attendee will bring money to give to the happy couple (I am not sure if we get
it or mum and dad) and the deal is that they must bring more money than Waree’s
family gave at the weddings of their families. It seems incredibly complicated but everything is recorded, so they
probably know how much they have to bring.

Not only
will the wedding provide food but its cost will be defrayed across the village and
surrounding hamlets. Neat social
security scheme huh?

Waree and I
were discussing the bride price and realizing that I had to transfer the money
from my bank in Australia

and that there was a risk that it might not arrive in time. That would be a total disaster as the wedding
would have to be cancelled. No money –
no wedding. So we decided to play it
safe and that I would travel to Phompisai (the nearest town) each day and
withdraw the money from an ATM in dribs and drabs. Slow but safe, I hope (there is always a risk
that the pattern of transactions will lead my bank to believe that the card has
been stolen and suspend it).

It was late
afternoon but I decided to drive to Phompisai to get the first withdrawal at
once. Waree wanted her brother Tau to go
with me and said he could drop off some of his wedding invitations of the
way.  Tau had a couple of cold cans of beer with him
and of course I had to buy him more in Phompisai so I ended up drinking 3 cans
as we drove through a myriad of dusty tracks to visit houses in villages
scattered around the area.

It was hot
and people were often sitting outside their houses on the bamboo platforms they
have. They sit in groups and eat or just
talk and relax. Some invited me to “gin
kau” “eat food” with them.

Earlier in
the day we went to another nearby town to see a photographer who we have
arranged to take wedding photos with my Canon EOS 20D SLR digital camera. As always Waree insisted that as he is a Thai
photographer he would already know how to use any camera and as always I knew
that he wouldn’t know how to use it.

I have met
him before and he appears to be an experienced photographer who understands
photography but as I pointed out to Waree, I have been doing photography for over 50 years, I was doing developing and
printing under the bed when I was 12 and it still took me several months to
work our how to use this camera. Maybe I
am just thick.

He didn’t
do too badly, although he wouldn’t have been able to use it without the
training.  I just hope that he doesn’t
screw it up on the day.